A life of poverty

Well I was just online last night and I decided to see how much my loan payment when up to this month. I am on a graduated payment plan and this is the month it goes up since I started paying a year ago. To say I was surprised is an understatement. My payments have nearly doubled and now went from painful to crippling. If I pay the payments I am supposed to I will be paying more than sixty percent of my net pay. After I researched online I found out that if I had defaulted on my loans and they garnished my wages they can only take at most fifteen percent of my net pay. Granted I can't default without destroying my parents credit and I won't do that. Why is it that trying to do the right and honest thing like paying your bills, is the one thing that no one wants to help you with?

It just sucks because I tried to be smart with money and not over barrow, but I honestly think I will now live in poverty for the rest of my life because I decided to go to college. I spent nearly eight years of my life to earn something that has done the exact opposite of what I thought it would. I am poorer and more unhappy than I was when I was just a dumb high school graduate. I just don't know what to do. It feels like I have everyone wanting me to fail and I just don't know how to deal with that. I really feel like I have no options left.

Yes, I posted a picture

This is me pissed off and waiting in my car. I was waiting because my car had a flat tire. Normally this would just mean I get my ass out and change it, but I nearly got hit by car when I tried to change it. So after calling for help I waited for 45 minutes until someone got there. Now it was hot out today, about 85 to 90 degrees and I didn't have enough gas in my car to just let it run so I had to roll down the windows and wait.

I may not have been so mad, but I was already feeling like crap from the family reunion I was coming home from. I had to answer the question,"What are going to do now that you're done with school?" more times that I thought was humanly possible. I don't know what I am going to do with the rest of my life and I am okay with it. Unfortunately I am not okay with announcing to every that to near strangers I only see once a year. Life sucks.

Graduated

Just had to say that I learned that I passed my last class and graduated. I still just barely made it, only getting a D, which was still enough I guess. That's it.

Birthday parties, Cash, and Freedom

Well I joined some of the people from work for Becky's birthday party. It started at our place and a few games. The game we started to play eventually progressed into a game of charades, which I won. After some people leaving we walked downtown to the bars. We had some drinks and a few laughs before the end of the night.

The next morning I drove back to my parents' house. My parents will be moving soon, and now I have to take everything I left when I moved out 5 years ago. While packing up a ton of comic books and other old junk I found a box from my high school graduation party. I was being a little sentimental and looked through the old cards. The first one I picked up had a fifty dollar bill in it. I looked through the other cards and found a total of seventy-five dollars and a thirty dollar check from my uncle who died five years ago.

Apparently I forgot to pull out all the money when I packed everything up after the part seven years ago. I used my newly found cash to pay for part of the digital camera I've been wanting. I am glad I found the money, but feel really stupid for misplacing it for seven years.

I won't know if I passed my last class and graduated until Thursday. I don't really want to know now. All I know is that I am done with college. I have no desire or money to go back even if I failed. If I did I think I would loose my will to live. I refuse to keep working for something that has made me feel like shit for eight years.